I Call It: "Boy Meets World Syndrome"

Boy Meets World Syndrome: An Analysis

Contracted by:

• Watching 90's sitcoms or PG/PG-13 movies with plot lines set in the "modern" American home. But mostly 90's sitcoms.

Timetable:

• Curable symptoms are exhibited after 5 to 6 years of exposure to sitcoms. Symptoms become more acute when the subject is exposed during the impressionable middle-school years. Subject becomes unstable when exposed to 90's sitcoms in conjunction with 90's pop music (Seal, Early Britney, Foo Fighters, Ricky Martin, Third Eye Blind etc.)

Symptoms:

• Belief that all people of the same sex exist under the following categories: "Best Friend", "Enemy", or "Extra".

• Belief that all people of the opposite sex must exist under following categories: "Pining weirdo", "Jerk", "Crush" "Boy/Girlfriend", "Friend-That-I-Always-Wonder-About-Being-With", or "Extra".

• Belief that any person that falls under the category of "Best Friend" must be there for the subject at all times. If a problem should occur between the two, (e.g. "You didn't want to talk to that boy/girl for me." or "You can't date that boy/girl because I wanted to date him/her."..etc.) it must be solved within a thirty minute period. Special circumstances might call for a two-part series.

• Belief that dating is, and can only be, working toward a sustainable monogamous relationship. This will undoubtedly lead to the panicked "Is this a date?" internal monologue while hanging out with a "Crush". Rather than a healthy way to form boundaries and explore traits that the subject will search for in a later mate, this "black or white" pattern of dating will result in only four outcomes;

1. Rejection of the subject outright, which will undoubtedly turn into some episode centered on self-esteem.
2. A rejection of the "Crush" because once attainable, the mystery and accompanied drama are gone, resulting in a devaluation of the relationship.
3. A Type-1 Relationship: One where the subject does not enjoy being with the "Crush" in a monogamous relationship, but because of an innumerated amount of social pressures, feels as if she/he cannot leave.
4. A Type-2 Relationship: One where the subject and the "Crush" are in a monogamous happy relationship that will undoubtedly last many seasons, until they get married.
   

• Subconscious understanding that an existence without drama is an existence not worth living. Exhibited by one or a more of the following;

1. Subject feels compelled to push "best friends" into validating response of black and white. (e.g. "Ugh...I can't believe she wore that after she *knew* I had just bought that." or "Dude, you know he can't play baseball, he's an avid loner with a mysterious past. Don't invite him over here." etc...)
2. Subject feels the need to size up self-worth at or below another, again focusing on absolutes. (e.g. "I might be an idiot, but at least I don't look like that!" or "All those dumb popular types, at least I'm smart and don't fall into following the crowd!" etc...)
3. Interacting with "best friends" in a way that promises to deliver results. (e.g. " Person X hangs out in crowd Y...I know person X maybe I can squeeze my way in there."

Cure:

• Unfortunately, most subjects that have exhibited one or more of the symptoms are at risk of repeated exhibition for the rest of their life. A dose of self-examination or conscious consideration of self-worth or happiness everyday at least twice a day should decrease social drama. If problems persists, however, subject might be suffering from ABMWS (Acute Boy Meets World Syndrome) and should consider help from close friends, relatives or a professional for help creating an accurate appraisal of one's social strengths and weakness.

Bomb The Blogosphere! (Telecom Industry Gets Big Break)

Your agreement with your telephone service has just been voided. Your service provider, (Sprint, Altell, AT&T) has just turned over your private data to the government; Who you called, how long the call was, what time the call was made, what location the call was made from, the location of the recipient of your call, and even what was said during the call.

Why?

Not because of a court order or because you had a warrant for your arrest, no. Rather a federal or local law enforcement officer had a suspicion that you were an "Enemy" of the country and it was important to know who you were "talking to, what [you]'re saying, and what [you]'re planning."

So you're arrested, and on trial with "evidence" that was procured without a judge's approval, and sentenced to X (number of years in jail) for doing or planning to do Y (something that was determined as a crime by a law enforcement officer).

Your phone conversations were undoubtedly considered "your own" contractually with the phone company, and now they've been given to the government and used against you. Who do you blame?

I'd be a little upset with a corporation that broke it's agreement with me. I'd probably try to sue them, for lost work time, emotional damages and court fees, and because the evidence was obtained without a warrant, I'd try to get the case overturned.

But now, I can't.

Thanks to a piece of legislation passed by the Bush White House on Wednesday, THE TELEPHONE CORPORATIONS ARE NOT LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HANDING OVER PERSONAL DATA.

Which means they are completely immune from legal action taken by customers for breaking a contract. 40 cases against telecom providers are now null and void, and will be turned over by the bills passing.

While we're on the subject, how useful or important is wiretapping? According to uscourts.gov, in 2007 (total domestic and abroad) 2,119 intercepts were installed, and 3,106 intercepts were made....a mere 920 of which led to incrimination. (I'll do the math, they are 29% effective at making incriminations.)

You might say "Well, that's 920 criminals behind bars!" And 2,186 conversations that didn't need to be listened too. Maybe we caught some bad guys...but what if we had a federal agent or local cop broke up with his girlfriend and listened to her calls to stalk her? Or if we had a private investigator slip money to a federal officer to listen in on a target for a case?

Maybe the cost isn't that much? Hopefully? No. Again, the number of taps? 2,119 taps at $48,477 A PIECE! That is $102,722,763. TAXPAYER MONEY. Think about that next time you look at your "Tax" section of your paycheck stub.

Obama supported the bill saying, "This was not an easy call for me. I know that the...bill that passed the House is far from perfect." McCain was not on roll call for the vote.
____________________________________________________________________

What kind of world do we live in? I am now completely beside myself. We can't even take legal action against an independent corporation because the government is protecting;

Their interests.

Their money.

Rather than our legal rights.

Isn't it the job of the government representatives to protect it's voters rights and freedoms? Like the freedom for legal reparations or an independent court system, free from the constraints of the legislative or executive direct order?

The democrats promised in 2006 that, "a Democratic-led Congress will not be a rubber stamp for the White House."-(Pelosi) Thanks for that one guys. Way to win one for the team, and not bend over to the game of fear mongering, (by the way, a reminder that we are still at Terror Alert Level YELLOW, as of March 19th. Thank you for staying vigilant.)

By the way, on this particular bill Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint offered to give contributions to the Democrats in congress averaging:

$8,359 to each Democrat who changed their position to support immunity for the Telecom industry (94 Dems)

$4,987 to each Democrat who remained opposed to immunity for Telcos (116 Dems)

"If you want twice the money, vote our way" says the Telephone companies. And this amount is a lot less than legal damages that the public would have brought onto Verizon, AT&T and Sprint. Which would have probably numbered in the millions.

What the fuck happened? Why is this even accepted? I have had enough of the lies and the crap about "protecting" us.

I'll say what I truly think, It was their fault that September day.

No. They didn't orchestrate it, this isn't my conspiracy theory. They dropped the ball. We had a whole system of early warnings and notices of Bin Laden's activities. We had intel that wasn't being acted on. Read the 9/11 commission report, an independent, bipartisan commission created by congressional legislation and the signature of President George W. Bush in late 2002.

Go on and read chapter 8, "The System Was Blinking Red." in it, reads:

[as early as] June 22, 2001 the CIA notified all its station chiefs about intelligence suggesting a possible al Qaeda suicide attack on a U.S.target over the next few days. DCITenet asked
that all U.S. ambassadors be briefed.

Make no mistake, they messed up that day, dropped the ball and because of it more than 3000 people met a horrifying end. Remember how strong we were? We had faith in ourselves as a country, as a people and as a Nation. The government was the last thing on our mind, because we had faith that they would follow the people's demands.

We now have nothing but fear, disparity and death. We have all been playing into the same hands of those who refuse to protect us, time and time again.

I am deeply saddened and upset at realizing these things, having to even express these sentiments. But through the frustration and pain, I have found a voice. One that I wish to use and call for the people of the United States to stand up for what is right and just and fair. To hold those accountable, both domestic and abroad, that allowed and continue to allow tragedy to occur on our own soil. To expect a government that keeps its promises and protects it's people with the fervor and intensity that we pay them hundreds of thousands of dollars a year for.

Remember to vote, what you decide on will change the way you live your life.

Iran In Need Of a Few Good Photoshoppers

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's craigslist post must have looked something like this:

Want to work in an exciting, high energy, (nuclear powered) environment? The glorious nation of Iran is looking for a highly motivated, capable individuals who have two to four months of Photoshop experience. Applicants must be able to justify the means with the end, have a passion for fabricating the truth, and preferably have prior experience working with Government monitored media in the United States.

Our ideal candidate will be professional, unwavingly devoted, and should be organized, have some attention to detail and be comfortable with multi-tasking. This is a great opportunity for someone who likes variety and would like to play an integral role in marketing our innovative products. (Missles....etc.)

Jobs include faking terrorist supplies, and hastily copying items in pictures of terrifying missile launches.

Contact The Divine Khamenei quickly as the market for shifty evidence for or of military action is increasing everyday. Pay is negotiable, partially equal opportunity employer, (Infidels need not apply)

(Post coming for Friday)