The following is a sample from more than 300 comments on this Facebook PostSecret Page:"Katie King (University of Dayton) wrote
at 8:22pm on May 24th, 2008
I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. :)"
"Michelle K Horn (Wisconsin) wrote
Remember, what we say and think has an effect on those around us, accepting or even indulging in the network TV character or porn star as what a man or woman "should" be will leave nothing but emptiness. Not only emptiness for ourselves, but also our relationships and partners.
HOUSE!!
omg so sexy.
and so funny.
who else cried watching the season four finale??"
omg so sexy.
and so funny.
who else cried watching the season four finale??"
"Michelle K Horn (Wisconsin) wrote
at 12:22am on May 25th, 2008
I agree with everyone asking for Jim Halpert. He is the perfect boyfriend."
"Grace Eddy (TCD) wrote
"Grace Eddy (TCD) wrote
at 4:26am on May 25th, 2008
hahaha this secret hit home! i am unhealthily in love with John Krasinski (Jim from the Office.) and i love it."
"Jennifer Fitzgerald (NW Michigan) wrote
"Jennifer Fitzgerald (NW Michigan) wrote
at 9:17am on May 25th, 2008
i agree. i have never had a dream about a boyfriend or anything yet House has been in my dreams alot and im more obsessed with him than my fiance"
"Peggy Fioretti (Amos Alonzo Stagg High School) wrote
"Peggy Fioretti (Amos Alonzo Stagg High School) wrote
at 9:35am on May 25th, 2008
i'd rather love shia labeouf and not have him, than love someone that knows who i exist and loves me back."
"Gillian MacDonald (Eastwood Collegiate Institute) wrote
"Jessica Matic (UC Riverside) wrote
at 6:05pm on May 25th, 2008
at 6:05pm on May 25th, 2008
it's fine, who isn't? I'm in love with Jim Halpert but I doubt I'll ever find my own"
"Gillian MacDonald (Eastwood Collegiate Institute) wrote
at 9:52am on May 25th, 2008
I think this is one of the reasons I haven't met anyone I'm willing to go out with yet."
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More than 300 comments. It goes on and on like this. 2 or 3 of the comments report that they feel like this is "disturbing" or "wrong". A couple of people even post that they see this "falling in love" with fictional characters as wrong, and then post that McDreamy is their favorite hunk. Perhaps most upsetting is that the majority of the language used in the comments is in the present tense, as if these characters DO actually exist. i.e. "Jim IS the perfect boyfriend."
While we are on the subject of language, let's not forget that these women LOVE these characters. What does that word mean? To many, its an undying compassion for another. To appreciate and invest in another heart and soul. To be "in Love" is the epitome of being in modern America. We need to be complete, we are looking for that other "half". Many of them choose to use the words that mean that they have real compassion...for fictional characters.
What hope does a real guy in our society have compared to a man that is created by TV producers to satisfy the emotional fantasies of the general public? What benefit or payoff exists by being completely devoted to something that isn't even REAL? Viewers of the shows block of time to see the show, as if the plot will change if they don't see it on its first airing. Some even schedule get-togethers to watch and share in the emotional moment during that season finale, some comments requested that commradory, "Who else cried during the season finale?"
Image a PostedSecret about porn, a women's bare breasts taking up the whole frame, the quote reading "I've been more in love with the personalities of characters from my favorite Pornos than I have with my actual girlfriends." Now, how many men are going to openly post "Dude, totally know what you mean, I love Jenna Jameson's boobs!" Or "Holy cow, I thought that I was the only one!" Or "I'm more obsessed about Pamela Anderson than my fiancee!" How long would that be up until there was an UPROAR of people counter-posting about how sick and wrong porn is. How these men should spend more time appreciating real women than some dumb bimbo on the television screen. How real women are nothing like those women and how men should just start owning up to that fact instead of relying on some sick fantasy to pleasure them.
What hope do we have when compared to objectified perfect symbols of our sex? What benefit exists by being devoted to something that is not real? Hundreds of thousands of women have asked themselves and their partners to answer some of those questions. When woman are objectified through the Pornography media machine, many cry foul, saying that regular woman have no hope of being attractive to men anymore. On a blog, "This Woman's Worth" the author says, "I(f ) you have live with a man addicted to porn you know when he is...because he doesn’t look at you when you have sex. He often can’t maintain and erection. They don’t realize that porn is a drug like any other."
If a guy says he's more obsessed with Pamela Anderson or Jenna Jameson than his Fiancee, it's a problem. When woman are reporting that they are more obsessed with the guy from "House" than their Fiancee, it's a problem.
The problem should be fixed. Indulging in these shows on a non-obsessive level could be compared to a man who uses porn "sparingly". These men on network TV aren't real, and they are given too much attention in our society. Porn star women aren't real, and they are given too much attention in our society.
When communication difficulties and infidelity are listed off as two of the top five reasons why marriages break up...the individual in the everyday relationship needs to stand up and say that they won't compare or, even give themselves the chance to compare, their partner to some media-made fantasy caricature.
___________________________________________________________________
More than 300 comments. It goes on and on like this. 2 or 3 of the comments report that they feel like this is "disturbing" or "wrong". A couple of people even post that they see this "falling in love" with fictional characters as wrong, and then post that McDreamy is their favorite hunk. Perhaps most upsetting is that the majority of the language used in the comments is in the present tense, as if these characters DO actually exist. i.e. "Jim IS the perfect boyfriend."
While we are on the subject of language, let's not forget that these women LOVE these characters. What does that word mean? To many, its an undying compassion for another. To appreciate and invest in another heart and soul. To be "in Love" is the epitome of being in modern America. We need to be complete, we are looking for that other "half". Many of them choose to use the words that mean that they have real compassion...for fictional characters.
What hope does a real guy in our society have compared to a man that is created by TV producers to satisfy the emotional fantasies of the general public? What benefit or payoff exists by being completely devoted to something that isn't even REAL? Viewers of the shows block of time to see the show, as if the plot will change if they don't see it on its first airing. Some even schedule get-togethers to watch and share in the emotional moment during that season finale, some comments requested that commradory, "Who else cried during the season finale?"
Image a PostedSecret about porn, a women's bare breasts taking up the whole frame, the quote reading "I've been more in love with the personalities of characters from my favorite Pornos than I have with my actual girlfriends." Now, how many men are going to openly post "Dude, totally know what you mean, I love Jenna Jameson's boobs!" Or "Holy cow, I thought that I was the only one!" Or "I'm more obsessed about Pamela Anderson than my fiancee!" How long would that be up until there was an UPROAR of people counter-posting about how sick and wrong porn is. How these men should spend more time appreciating real women than some dumb bimbo on the television screen. How real women are nothing like those women and how men should just start owning up to that fact instead of relying on some sick fantasy to pleasure them.
What hope do we have when compared to objectified perfect symbols of our sex? What benefit exists by being devoted to something that is not real? Hundreds of thousands of women have asked themselves and their partners to answer some of those questions. When woman are objectified through the Pornography media machine, many cry foul, saying that regular woman have no hope of being attractive to men anymore. On a blog, "This Woman's Worth" the author says, "I(f ) you have live with a man addicted to porn you know when he is...because he doesn’t look at you when you have sex. He often can’t maintain and erection. They don’t realize that porn is a drug like any other."
If a guy says he's more obsessed with Pamela Anderson or Jenna Jameson than his Fiancee, it's a problem. When woman are reporting that they are more obsessed with the guy from "House" than their Fiancee, it's a problem.
The problem should be fixed. Indulging in these shows on a non-obsessive level could be compared to a man who uses porn "sparingly". These men on network TV aren't real, and they are given too much attention in our society. Porn star women aren't real, and they are given too much attention in our society.
When communication difficulties and infidelity are listed off as two of the top five reasons why marriages break up...the individual in the everyday relationship needs to stand up and say that they won't compare or, even give themselves the chance to compare, their partner to some media-made fantasy caricature.
